Sorry, so sorry.

Truthfully, I've been lazy about reposting my YouTube vids here. I've now added a click-through link to my You Tube channel in the header. I think this blog will be primarily my shoe wish list from hereon, with occasional comments on my recordings.

Badly wanting what I can't have.

I need shoes, but none of these are available in my size and preferred color. (sigh) Not to mention I wish they were all just $50 each...

Bebe Liza in Leopard Patent

Bebe Scarlett Printed Scarf Sandal

Charles David Encounter in Red

Jessica Simpson Taneala in Chili or Zebra

test

Airplanes teaser

One of Us (Joan Osbourne cover)

He Was Too Good To Me / Since You Stayed Here (Bette Midler cover)

Constant Change (Jose Marie Chan cover) a capella

Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie cover) - Request

Something to Talk About (Bonnie Raitt cover)

All This Time (Tiffany Cover)

Can This Be Love (Smokey Mountain cover)

The First Cut Is The Deepest (Sheryl Crow cover)

Love Me For What I Am (Carpenters cover) a capella

Lift Up Your Hands (Basil Valdez cover) a capella

I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt cover)

I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me (Exposé cover) a capella

I'm not in Love (10 cc cover) a capella

Gravity (Sara Bareilles cover)

Always (Atlantic Starr cover -request)

Kat Badar

Sometimes I come across a talent that shines so brightly I despair of ever finding a place for myself as a singer. One such light is the amazing Kat Badar. Check her out at:

http://www.youtube.com/katbadar

She didn't make the cut for American Idol either! WTH.

On My Own (from Les Miserables)

Control and strength are problematic. So happy with my new mic, tho!

Tanging Alay

I felt like singing a song of praise from the old days when I was in choir.

Valentine (Martina McBride cover)

Happy Valentine's Day!
=D

When You Say Nothing At All (Allison Krauss cover)

An apologetic explanation of sorts

The Queen: Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

~ Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass

I've begun posting on YouTube out of sheer exasperation. It seems that there's always one more thing to wait for, to hold out just until this or that, but then there's always something.

It's a strange sort of paradox, this singing thing with me. I admit, I have a problem performing in public. It isn't just stage fright, either. I am painfully shy, and actually afraid of people. I think to myself it might have been easier if I were "really talented", if I had music spouting out of my ears and catchy tunes flowing from my fingers, but I don't. I can barely read music (was never really interested enough to learn, actually), don't play an instrument, and am often quilty of being off-tempo and off-key. Though I always sang, growing up I was never THE singer, just A singer.

It's weird to have people tell me I'm really good, and ask why I work where I do. Like I have all these options strewn at my feet. People have this idea that if you have a talent then you will zero in on the path to stardom like a homing pigeon or something. I don't know about all that. I just know that I have to sing, and that I have to put my singing "out there".

Do I honestly think I sound good? Sometimes. Great, definitely not. One of my favorite motivational books tells me that perfectionism is just a way of staying stuck. I am never going to be "good enough" to suit myself, and the longer I don't act the more I'm going to berate myself for it. So rather than wait till I'm "good enough" I finally decided to do it crappily. And maybe I'll get better in time.

Somewhere over the Rainbow (Katharine McPhee cover)

Sing Me a Song Again, Daddy

The second song I sang at my sister-in-law's wedding, because I wasn't about to sing Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" a capella. I cried, she cried, love this song so much! Would love for someone to sing it at my someday church wedding. I'm looking at you, Hazel.

second thoughts

I've decided not to post my audition video online after all, mostly because of the crappy singing. My home-recorded uploaded was way better. I sang off-key, my voice wavering and cracking at some points, and my nerves got the better of me. I blinked too much, tottered around, closed my eyes and looked away, and tilted my head off to one side most of the time.

I need a haircut that's a little heavier on top. And I also need to lose about 15 pounds.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still grateful for the opportunity and proud of what was done: not because of the singing, but the overall experience. It was a crazy, exhilarating ride and I'm glad it's over and anxious for the next project.

Credits: I'd like to thank...

Les Polk, my management sponsor on this project, for his support. Without him I probably would never have turned in an entry.

Justin Hilbert, videographer and film editor, for doing such an amazing job on such short notice. Thanks for your patience, nonjudgmental manner, and the pro finish you gave my audition disk. I still owe you a drink.

Mike Sanchez for directorial input. You were in and out, but the advice you gave really made difference.

Leo Pinsoy for playing bouncer! =D

The associates of Wal-Mart #2926 for their support and encouragement. Our store really is the best!

And my Farm Ville, Facebook and You Tube friends for their input and encouraging words. The world is love.

=)

Mission accomplished!

So. We're done recording. OMG. I was such a nervous wreck. I'm glad it's over.

But between takes and do-overs I couldn't help but think,

"Yeah, I could do this for a living."

!

I'm getting way way WAYYYY ahead of myself.

I hope to post the end result tomorrow. It's with Justin right now, for editing.

Thank you - Dido

One of two songs I learned for my sister-in-law's wedding a couple of years ago.



I am beginning to see the stirrings of a new addiction. Which is fine, since it's a little closer to my passions than say, Farm Ville.

Star Spangled Banner

So there's this thing at work that I'm preparing for... Comments and suggestions are appreciated, but artists' egos are fragile, so if I'm really that bad, break it to me gently!